If you are not being true to yourself or to your beliefs, you are being inauthentic. A fake life is one that is led to please others, but does not make you happy. If you want to live more authentically, just make the choice to accept yourself just the way that you are, and then be yourself. I used to feel like I needed to pretend to be a certain way to fit in with my peers. Then one day I made that choice to be unapologetically me. And life is certainly much happier living the way I want, regardless of what others are thinking.
If you want an authentic life, you can have it! Allow yourself to express in a way that delights you. Live in a way that upholds your beliefs without judging yourself or comparing yourself to others. So how can you tell if you are living a fake life?
Here are six signs that you may be:
- You need to spend money on things that help you fit in.
It might be new clothes, manicures, make-overs, or expensive dinners out with “friends”. If you feel like you have to spend money so that others will “like” you, then chances are you are not living very authentically. And if this false representation of yourself is not aligned with your personal values, then you will create a lot of stress for yourself.
- You find yourself always just waiting for something.
It could be waiting for 5:00 pm. Or waiting for the weekend. Or waiting for your next vacation. Most likely if you are waiting for something you are not living in an authentic way, doing what you would love to do with your life. If you are living a fake life, you may find that you have the urge to always get away from it. Whereas if you were living a purpose-driven fulfilled life, then your days would be in flow and joyous. Stop for a minute and ask yourself if you spend time imagining a happier time and if you are always trying to escape your days?
- You never have time for yourself.
Do you feel like you never have time to do what you want? When you are living a fake life, you may find you’ll never have time for yourself, to do those things that really matter to you such as work-out, enjoy your own hobbies, or just to sit and read that book. If your fake life has you wishing you could do the little things in life that make you happy, then stop and realize you are probably projecting yourself as you think you are supposed to be instead of living life in an authentic way. You don’t want to just survive, you want to thrive.
- You lack joy in your life.
Do you find yourself envious of what others have? If you see only what you lack, you will not find joy in your life. This is a sign you are focused on what is missing and not able to be grateful for the wonderful things you do have. Take a step back and look for the blessings in your life, and you just might find the opportunities you seek instead. If you are living a fake life, then you are focused on what you don’t have, and you will miss out on the joy and happiness that is right in front of you.
- Your health may be suffering.
This is a biggie. I found myself here years ago. I was so stressed, mostly self-imposed mentally, that I couldn’t enjoy my life. When this happens it is definitely a good indication that you are not living an authentic life. If you can’t sleep, or need regular massages just to keep you functioning and help you cope, then you may be living a fake life. Here also lies the danger of emotional eating in an attempt to fill that empty void of not being your true self. But the good news is once you recognize this, you can take measures to turn your life around, health and all!
- Others’ beliefs are more important to you than what you believe.
Unfortunately, this sign is very prevalent with those living a fake life. Why do people put emphasis or respect more so on what others think, instead of trusting that their beliefs are really what they need to abide by to be happy? For some reason many of us think others know best for us. This is just not always so. You know your own heart and deep down you know what would make you happy. When you learn to focus on what is important to you, you will finally be able to start living an authentic life.
If you’ve identified any of these signs in your own life, perhaps it is time to make a U-Turn and Conquer Your Reality to start living a life you can love!
I’m here for you. You have choices.
Hearts & Hugs,
Dr. Jen