Tag Archives: conquer your reality

Daily Joys Create a Happier Life

What’s the difference between joy and happiness?

Both joy and happiness are feelings. We can feel joy and we can feel happy. However, observation of joy shows that it tends to come from inside of us, whereas witnessing the feeling of happiness shows that most of the time external factors elicit the response.

Last week I mentioned that the act of smiling, the actual turning up the corners of our mouth, can help our bodies produce neurotransmitters that affect us by stimulating positive emotions. What if another simple act of just our understanding the difference between joy and happiness can also help us feel better and make a BIG difference in our lives?

We know that happiness is important not only emotionally, but also physically. Our personal happiness really does affect how well our life goes all around. If we aren’t happy, it means we are feeling or experiencing other emotions instead that may influence our physical health. And if we add stress in our life on top of not feeling happiness, it can lead to feelings of loss of control, lack of purpose, unworthiness, and bad habits leading to unhealthy choices.

So, what can we do? How can we turn a downward emotional spiral around?

First, seek to understand the difference between joy and happiness, and instead of looking for happiness outside of yourself, focus on cultivating the feeling of small joys every day. Experiencing small joys daily can help create a happier life overall.

We all have small joys. Your joys are individual preferences within you as you experience life. Here are a few ways to help you identify and adopt habits that will nurture your own small joys.

  • Start every day by appreciating something about yourself.

Recognize something you love about yourself. Disregard the perceived flaws you may think you have, but actively single out something that you identify in yourself that you either adore, admire, or appreciate, just because it is part of you or maybe the way you do things. Maybe it’s your sense of humor, your own eyes when you look in the mirror, the types of books you like to read, how you notice things no one else does, your ability to think about subjects in a certain way, or your love of color, coffee, or cantaloupe. See—this is not hard. It’s very simple but you must make it a habit EVERY DAY. And this is not at all being vain. These are special little joys of you just being you. These daily joys help build self-esteem and lead to positive choices in taking care of yourself, which ultimately leads to healthy feelings of well-being.

  • Identify a purpose in your life.

This is a big thing that determines how we treat ourselves and how we feel about our life. If we don’t know what our purpose is, then it makes it hard to get out of bed in the morning. Or if we are doing things that do not align with our purpose, it really makes it hard to keep going. Our personal purpose will light the internal flame of joy that radiates outward into our life and everything we do. And you don’t just have one purpose, you could have many purposes in life, but the thing to look for is where your values line up with your beliefs. If you make goals from the intersection of your values and beliefs, life just seems to follow your purpose and light your path. And feelings of purpose are vital for daily joy.

  • Think flexibly so you can adapt to change and cope with stress.

 There is nothing like stress and things not going your way to zap your joy and steal your happiness. We have ideas of the way we want our life to go and rarely does a life journey follow the yellow brick road as we had imagined it to be. The zapper is our rigid grip on the idea of the outcome we anticipated. But what if we could loosen our mental hold and allow ourselves to lean into the way things are going, even if we don’t like it and it makes us uncomfortable. What if we could perhaps adopt the attitude of not labeling the disappointment or struggle, but just being with it and watching what unfolds for the unexpected blessing.

Starting each day appreciating yourself and living your chosen purpose in a flexible manner is something that may take discipline to foster. If we can be adaptable in thinking about our lives and the course it takes without attachment, we might more readily appreciate each small joy in its own moment. In recognizing and embracing each of those precious moments, it will become evident that the whole of a happy life is made up of the small daily joys we choose to savor.

This week conquer your reality in 10 minutes at a time by observing those little things you adore about yourself, by opening yourself up to living your purpose every day and cherishing each moment of joy as it comes.

Hearts & Hugs,

Dr. Jen

 

 

 

4 Rituals that Lead to Easier Days

What can we do to live easier? I work with women that live with fibromyalgia and this is their primary quest. Personally, as someone that has experienced fibro, I know firsthand when we are told to exercise more, lose weight, sleep more, think positive, do this or do that, or asked “have you tried this yet, ” it can be extremely frustrating! And depending upon our mood in that moment, we either scoff at the audacity of someone who knows nothing about what we go through trying to give us advice or we politely nod and say “thanks, I’ll try that.”

Gently Feed the Heart, Mind, and Body

Even as some of us struggle with symptoms and discomfort of fibromyalgia, we may also be juggling work and family. This can leave little time and energy to do the things that might actually help us feel better. And that is one of the major dilemmas in having fibromyalgia, we use all our spoons to do for others and may not save a spoon for feeding ourselves– our heart, mind, and body.

Note: for those of you who aren’t aware of the description of using spoons, it comes from the Spoon Theory devised by Christine Miserandino, who used a tangible example of spoons to explain the use and conservation of mental and physical energy by someone with a chronic illness. The theory is that you start the day with a specific number of spoons and everything you do or any stress that you experience uses one or more of your spoons. The goal of someone that suffers with limited energy is to very carefully select the activities they do in a day so they can complete what they need before they run out of spoons. Spoon theory – Wikipedia

Conserving Spoons

What if you could do 4 easy rituals every day that wouldn’t use up a spoon AND might actually help you gain a spoon here or there over time? Here are the things I’ve found that are so easy and can be incorporated into the tiniest of timelines or expanded to fit any timeframe you choose. These are the things that I find if I neglect, I actually have less spoons than I would have had. I used to be rigid about these, but I’m practicing more self-kindness now, allowing myself to recognize when I missed one of these rituals because of a rushed schedule and gently direct myself to begin again tomorrow.

We know that if we are taking care of others and have obligations, then in order to do our best we really must take care of ourselves. I’m going to share 4 daily rituals that will lift your spirits and soothe your body. These acts of self-care can even be easier than taking a shower! I’ve been there — and my heart understands all of you that post on the Facebook fibromyalgia groups how hard it is to take the steps to shower and wash your hair. I know, it is a major effort when you don’t feel good!

Here are 4 simple rituals that will boost your self-care without leaving you drained.

  1. Stretch In the Morning

I DID NOT say exercise. No way, I wouldn’t do that. I’ve hurt myself way too many times trying to wrestle my body into getting into shape. I’ve been cruel so often pushing my body and thinking I must just be lazy, let me get into the habit of exercising. Nope that is not what I would suggest until you feel your body not only wants to do it, but your body has the resilience to do what we think of as “exercise.”

What I’m naming as an easy daily ritual is a few minutes of gentle stretching when you get up in the morning. Nothing too strenuous at all is expected. Heck, do your stretching in bed at first as you make it a daily habit. The intention is to get a little circulation moving through your limbs as you wiggle and GENTLY elongate your muscles. This can help support flexibility and reduce the jolt of swinging your legs to the side of your bed and stepping onto the floor. If your feet feel like you are walking on nails and your ankles are stiff when you first try to walk, wiggling your feet and flexing your ankles before getting up can really help. When this is done on a daily basis, overtime you won’t even have to think about doing it.

Once up and out of bed, try stretching some of your muscles to gently incorporate range of motion for your shoulders by doing shoulder shrugs and gentle neck rolls, and moving your wrists in circles and flexing them forward and back. Designing these mini stretching routines for yourself in the morning as you get out of bed will help you feel more limber as you start your day, and you will probably notice that you are able to dress easier and reach farther with ease like when you are putting on your shoes.

  1. Meditate, Pray, or Quietly Reflect

This daily ritual has to be my favorite! And sometimes I do this in bed before I get up too, but I really love to get myself a cup of coffee and sit quietly somewhere in the morning as I prepare my mind and heart for the day. This is not a time to worry, but a time to gather your thoughts, ask for guidance, breathe through any anticipated obstacles, release any feelings of apprehensiveness, recognize blessings in your life, practice gratitude, and set your intention for the day. Meditating, praying or quietly reflecting is a way to improve your overall sense of well-being. It’s known to foster a sense of inner peace and a calm mood, can help combat stress, and when done before bed may lead to relaxation that helps your sleep.

This is meant to be an easy daily ritual, so start with 2-3 minutes. Do it first thing when you are aware of being awake in the morning before you stretch. Or if you have time to sit and drink a cup of coffee or tea, before you check your phone, apps, and email, spend a few minutes breathing good into your day.

  1. Drink Enough Water 

Everyone has a different idea about how much water we need to drink, some say 6 – 8 glasses, others say half your body weight in ounces. I say as much as it takes for your urine to be light in color. And this is going to be different for everyone. You don’t want to drink too much at a time that it makes you feel bloated, but you want enough that your body can meet its needs. Staying hydrated helps to keep your body working properly and helps to excrete waste. If it is easier to remember, keep a habit journal and make a mark each time you have a cup of water.

  1. Smile to Yourself in the Mirror

Yeah, you heard me right. And yes, it might feel silly but smiling at yourself in the mirror or just smile even if you aren’t looking in a mirror. It can help us have a good day in several ways. First of all, science has told us that if we turn up the corners of our mouth into a smile shape it can actually help us to start feeling happy.

It turns out that the movement of the mouth shape seems to help facilitate the release of neurotransmitters such as dopamine, endorphins, and serotonin. This is phenomenal! These are the neurotransmitters that work in the body to help us feel good, happy and motivated. Endorphins are also considered natural pain relievers!!

Now, that we know this—the next time we find ourselves in pain if we can remember, let’s try turning the corners of our mouth up like we are smiling. Although the people around us might think we are going a little crazy, it might just help them too. As if smiling for happy neurotransmitters and pain relief sounds out there, you might be surprised to learn that smiling is also contagious. When we smile at others it makes them feel good too. And this amazing cycle begins. Most people will smile back at you and your brain will register a reward feeling that keeps you smiling. Just think of the ripple affect you will make by smiling. As you help yourself feel better by smiling, it will help others feel better too.

Now, go gently be your best self today! Stretch, then meditate, pray or reflect to set your intention for the day, drink plenty of water throughout the day, and smile. Use these ridiculously simple rituals to have an easier day.

Hearts & (gentle) Hugs,

Dr. Jen

Wellness Begins in the Mind

“You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in the mind.” ~Dale Carnegie

The Road Back to Health

This week I’ve been thinking about healing and how to promote healing. Everyone echoes the battle cry for a war on specific illnesses. Many of us call ourselves warriors. That’s what we feel like anyway. We fight and fight as hard as we can. I really dove into the awareness and observation of this, and I want to share a different perspective. A war on illness may never be won because it only continues to promote the battle for as long as it can. But an understanding that our body is dynamic and always changing, and always functioning the best it can with the resources it has, can lead us forward.

The road back to health always starts with the mind. For example, this past week I had a buildup of stress with my workload and family responsibilities. And stress, we know, can be a tipping point for many of us with fibro. One morning I woke up with vertigo. My first reaction was “no, no, NO!” I initially experienced panic and anxiety, followed by frustration. My upset was not specifically about physically not being able to get out of bed without falling over.

Uncertainty

My thoughts were racing because I was anticipating not being able to do all the things, I was responsible for that day. (You would think after dealing with fibro for over 20 years I would be used to my life being interrupted by a symptom from out of nowhere) But my mind was reeling with the consequences of the predicament I was in—the fear of the limitation that this physical ailment was placing on me. I immediately texted my husband who was in the other room and asked him to help me get out of bed.

The inconvenience caused uncertainty. How long was this going to last (because with fibro we never know, right?) How far was this going to put my work behind? And lastly, I thought what the heck caused this? There comes another whole set of fears with questioning cause. Our mind can just run wild with that! (Just in case you are wondering, we believe my vertigo was caused by trigger points in the scalene muscles in my neck. I got trigger point therapy and a chiropractic adjustment. By the next day I was much better, but totally exhausted.)

Reminder that the Body is Perfectly Designed

During this ordeal I had to stop my runaway mind and remind myself that my body is perfectly designed to do the best it can with the tools it has. And those tools are mostly biochemical. The biochemical is influenced by many things such as nutrition, sleep, movement or exercise, being outdoors, stress… and my thoughts… aha! I had been under stress, not remembering to take my dietary supplements to support my muscles and energy, and not thinking positively and as balanced as I should have been. I knew better and it still snuck up on me!

Become a Peaceful Warrior Filled with Love

So here is the low down. Loving thoughts that produce self-compassionate emotions are best for us in situations like this. Especially if we can pause in the moment and realize that our health and well-being has gotten off track. Emotions (e-motion) are energy in motion in our body, and they produce biochemicals that can alter how our body functions and responds. Once you learn this, you can begin to monitor what you are thinking and then when you can catch yourself saying or thinking something negative you can counteract that thought.

So back to the beginning. You can never win a war on an illness by fighting. When you are fighting you are against something, usually because you are fearful, and angry, and frustrated. All these emotions come from the root of fear. But we can become peaceful warriors filled with love that provides sustenance and tools for our physical body through courage, faith, conviction, belief, and love.

Loving Thoughts, Encouraging Affirmations and Prayers of Gratitude

Send loving thoughts and feelings to your physical body, saying encouraging affirmations, and prayers of gratitude that your body is dynamic and able to change for the better. This will give it what it needs to function properly because the body listens to our hearts and words.

When an event occurs in illness or life, it is better to take a moment and choose how you want to respond versus reacting from your initial emotion about it. And YES, we always have a choice. Your choice should match your values, that which you believe in. Respond to your body or physical circumstance with a treatment or remedy that you believe will support your recovery. Never do something that others say you have to do. You must believe in the treatment for it to work, to have the greatest benefit. And yes, there are numerous studies on this, but that is a big topic for another day.

Here are some things to remember for healing and recovery:

  •  Realize where your body is starting from and know that you can make the changes internally in the body, and externally in your environment and life that can lead to healing. Realizing where you are in health and accepting an illness are two different things. Realizing where you are and believing your body has that ability to heal is most important. (And there is ALWAYS the possibility of healing. I’ve known people that have totally healed and recovered when they were told they would not.)
  •  Remember to love your body and not to declare war on the illness because it is inside your body, and if you fight on your own terrain there will be collateral damage. Your body is always doing the best it can with the tools it has. Instead of declaring war, LOVE your body and nourish the internal injury or malfunctioning system to increase its capacity and empower it to function properly. Add plenty of superfoods, sleep, fresh air, time in nature, and for goodness sakes find something to be grateful for and somehow feel joy.
  • BELIEVE in the loving care and treatment you choose. A brave warrior doesn’t want to fight and doesn’t want to kill. A brave peaceful warrior is about having the courage to confront the obstacle and determine a best course of action to take to overcome peacefully. It is not about using anger and force, but about finding a resolution quickly and easily. It is not about decimating the internal opponent (whether it is in your mind or physical body – they are really one in the same when you understand the energy of emotion producing the chemicals that are feeding your body), but it’s about reaching a solution for supporting the most favorable outcome. In the case of your body, listen to what your body needs and give it that nourishment.

For example, did you know if you give your body chlorophyll (the green stuff found in plants) and go out in the sun, that you can support your ATP which is the energy in your cells. Chlorophyll is similar to our hemoglobin in our blood, so this makes sense. This is a simple solution for those that aren’t able to eat enough greens in their diet. Try taking chlorella tablets and using a sun lamp a few minutes a day if you are in an overcast and cold environment. This can lift the mood, and the mood can support loving emotions, and the emotions can release healthy biochemicals to support a healthy body, along with the chlorophyll supporting the energy in the cells.

Visualize Energy, Stamina, and Endurance

Consciously visualize the inside of the body being filled with a warm and thriving paradise. Say affirmations over and over like “thank you for this energy, stamina, and endurance.” I did this for 2 years every morning and evening during my worst bout with fibro flareups, before the results were exactly what I wanted after almost giving up. Two years might seem like a long time but compared to the last ten years that I have been doing well, it was a short time to practice this ultimate self-care. I’ve learned that I am worth the time and effort to put into my healing because now I have the capacity to give to others. And you are worth it too!!

The Ripple Effect

There is a ripple effect. What can you do in life when you are able, that would help others, your family, your community, the world? Your life and contribution (even if it is a smile and wave to your neighbor) counts!! The ripple effect is far reaching and continuous.

Today take the steps to conquer your reality in 10 minutes at a time by declaring love and committing nourishment to your body instead of war. Decide what else you can do to nourish your body, what extra support can you give yourself, such as food, dietary supplements, sleep, and calm quiet reflection time remembering that wellness begins in the mind. And when you are all better and have reached the health that you have your mind set on, what will you share or do for others, your family, friends, community. When you recover, where will you create your ripple effect?

If you want more inspiration, here are several books that are sure to encourage you:

  • It’s the Thought That Counts: Why Mind Over Matter Really Works by David R. Hamilton
  • You Can Heal Your Life by Lousie Hay
  • The Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipton
  • The Isaiah Effect: Decoding the Lost Science of Prayer and Prophecy by Gregg Braden
  • The Spontaneous Healing of Belief: Shattering the Paradigm of False Limits by Gregg Braden
  • Dying to be Me: My Journey from Cancer, to Near Death, to True Healing by Anita Moorjani

Hearts & (gentle) Hugs my friends,

Dr. Jen