Tag Archives: Fibro Hacking

4 Rituals that Lead to Easier Days

What can we do to live easier? I work with women that live with fibromyalgia and this is their primary quest. Personally, as someone that has experienced fibro, I know firsthand when we are told to exercise more, lose weight, sleep more, think positive, do this or do that, or asked “have you tried this yet, ” it can be extremely frustrating! And depending upon our mood in that moment, we either scoff at the audacity of someone who knows nothing about what we go through trying to give us advice or we politely nod and say “thanks, I’ll try that.”

Gently Feed the Heart, Mind, and Body

Even as some of us struggle with symptoms and discomfort of fibromyalgia, we may also be juggling work and family. This can leave little time and energy to do the things that might actually help us feel better. And that is one of the major dilemmas in having fibromyalgia, we use all our spoons to do for others and may not save a spoon for feeding ourselves– our heart, mind, and body.

Note: for those of you who aren’t aware of the description of using spoons, it comes from the Spoon Theory devised by Christine Miserandino, who used a tangible example of spoons to explain the use and conservation of mental and physical energy by someone with a chronic illness. The theory is that you start the day with a specific number of spoons and everything you do or any stress that you experience uses one or more of your spoons. The goal of someone that suffers with limited energy is to very carefully select the activities they do in a day so they can complete what they need before they run out of spoons. Spoon theory – Wikipedia

Conserving Spoons

What if you could do 4 easy rituals every day that wouldn’t use up a spoon AND might actually help you gain a spoon here or there over time? Here are the things I’ve found that are so easy and can be incorporated into the tiniest of timelines or expanded to fit any timeframe you choose. These are the things that I find if I neglect, I actually have less spoons than I would have had. I used to be rigid about these, but I’m practicing more self-kindness now, allowing myself to recognize when I missed one of these rituals because of a rushed schedule and gently direct myself to begin again tomorrow.

We know that if we are taking care of others and have obligations, then in order to do our best we really must take care of ourselves. I’m going to share 4 daily rituals that will lift your spirits and soothe your body. These acts of self-care can even be easier than taking a shower! I’ve been there — and my heart understands all of you that post on the Facebook fibromyalgia groups how hard it is to take the steps to shower and wash your hair. I know, it is a major effort when you don’t feel good!

Here are 4 simple rituals that will boost your self-care without leaving you drained.

  1. Stretch In the Morning

I DID NOT say exercise. No way, I wouldn’t do that. I’ve hurt myself way too many times trying to wrestle my body into getting into shape. I’ve been cruel so often pushing my body and thinking I must just be lazy, let me get into the habit of exercising. Nope that is not what I would suggest until you feel your body not only wants to do it, but your body has the resilience to do what we think of as “exercise.”

What I’m naming as an easy daily ritual is a few minutes of gentle stretching when you get up in the morning. Nothing too strenuous at all is expected. Heck, do your stretching in bed at first as you make it a daily habit. The intention is to get a little circulation moving through your limbs as you wiggle and GENTLY elongate your muscles. This can help support flexibility and reduce the jolt of swinging your legs to the side of your bed and stepping onto the floor. If your feet feel like you are walking on nails and your ankles are stiff when you first try to walk, wiggling your feet and flexing your ankles before getting up can really help. When this is done on a daily basis, overtime you won’t even have to think about doing it.

Once up and out of bed, try stretching some of your muscles to gently incorporate range of motion for your shoulders by doing shoulder shrugs and gentle neck rolls, and moving your wrists in circles and flexing them forward and back. Designing these mini stretching routines for yourself in the morning as you get out of bed will help you feel more limber as you start your day, and you will probably notice that you are able to dress easier and reach farther with ease like when you are putting on your shoes.

  1. Meditate, Pray, or Quietly Reflect

This daily ritual has to be my favorite! And sometimes I do this in bed before I get up too, but I really love to get myself a cup of coffee and sit quietly somewhere in the morning as I prepare my mind and heart for the day. This is not a time to worry, but a time to gather your thoughts, ask for guidance, breathe through any anticipated obstacles, release any feelings of apprehensiveness, recognize blessings in your life, practice gratitude, and set your intention for the day. Meditating, praying or quietly reflecting is a way to improve your overall sense of well-being. It’s known to foster a sense of inner peace and a calm mood, can help combat stress, and when done before bed may lead to relaxation that helps your sleep.

This is meant to be an easy daily ritual, so start with 2-3 minutes. Do it first thing when you are aware of being awake in the morning before you stretch. Or if you have time to sit and drink a cup of coffee or tea, before you check your phone, apps, and email, spend a few minutes breathing good into your day.

  1. Drink Enough Water 

Everyone has a different idea about how much water we need to drink, some say 6 – 8 glasses, others say half your body weight in ounces. I say as much as it takes for your urine to be light in color. And this is going to be different for everyone. You don’t want to drink too much at a time that it makes you feel bloated, but you want enough that your body can meet its needs. Staying hydrated helps to keep your body working properly and helps to excrete waste. If it is easier to remember, keep a habit journal and make a mark each time you have a cup of water.

  1. Smile to Yourself in the Mirror

Yeah, you heard me right. And yes, it might feel silly but smiling at yourself in the mirror or just smile even if you aren’t looking in a mirror. It can help us have a good day in several ways. First of all, science has told us that if we turn up the corners of our mouth into a smile shape it can actually help us to start feeling happy.

It turns out that the movement of the mouth shape seems to help facilitate the release of neurotransmitters such as dopamine, endorphins, and serotonin. This is phenomenal! These are the neurotransmitters that work in the body to help us feel good, happy and motivated. Endorphins are also considered natural pain relievers!!

Now, that we know this—the next time we find ourselves in pain if we can remember, let’s try turning the corners of our mouth up like we are smiling. Although the people around us might think we are going a little crazy, it might just help them too. As if smiling for happy neurotransmitters and pain relief sounds out there, you might be surprised to learn that smiling is also contagious. When we smile at others it makes them feel good too. And this amazing cycle begins. Most people will smile back at you and your brain will register a reward feeling that keeps you smiling. Just think of the ripple affect you will make by smiling. As you help yourself feel better by smiling, it will help others feel better too.

Now, go gently be your best self today! Stretch, then meditate, pray or reflect to set your intention for the day, drink plenty of water throughout the day, and smile. Use these ridiculously simple rituals to have an easier day.

Hearts & (gentle) Hugs,

Dr. Jen

Fibro Hacking the Holidays: Inner Peace – Part 5

We all want the holidays to be a special time for everyone. This includes ourselves. For me personally, not only do I want to see smiles and joy on everyone else’s face, but I want to feel that ideal peace and serenity of the season too. However, for many years this eluded me because I would push myself so much making everything “perfect” for everyone else that by the time the activities and celebrations arrived, I was completely worn out and in pain. For women with fibromyalgia, I know that you know what I’m talking about.

Several years ago, I gave up the idea of a “perfect” holiday. And it was probably the best thing I ever did. I decided it was not my place to make it perfect, but it was my place to enjoy it right along with everyone else. Not only did the pain and fatigue get better, but I was also able to deal with the pain that I experienced much easier. This is when I learned to embrace inner peace above all else.

Here are my 5 strategies for fibro hacking the holidays to find inner peace in the midst of this busy season:

  1. Release Resistance

If you find yourself exhausted or in pain, recognize it and release your resistance to it. Listen to your body and heed the direction it is giving you. This may sound odd, but not only do I listen to my body I also talk to it. Research shows that our body responds to our thoughts. Just think about this for a moment. If you were to really imagine and think about slicing a lemon and squeezing it into a glass, your body would produce signals making your mouth salivate and pucker as if you were about to drink a glass of lemonade. So, I surmised if our body could produce chemicals to make internal changes happen, then I could also make changes to pain and fatigue. It certainly takes practice, but our bodies do respond to our thoughts so instead of ignoring the pain or feeling hate and disdain toward the part of the body affected by pain, try acknowledging and loving the area of pain. Ask your body what it needs then follow its direction. If you need to lie down and rest, do. If you need to use an ice or heat pack, magnesium oil, or anti-inflammatory, do so. You can have a better-quality day when you pay attention to your body.

  1. Practice Deep Breathing

Another way to hit the reset button on overwhelm brought on by discomfort is to practice deep breathing. It sounds simple, but it can help. Try 5 to 15 minutes of calm slow breathing. As you inhale and exhale, you can either focus on the up and down rising or your abdomen, or you can count. I like to count with each in and out cycle of breath. This may calm any anxiety brought on by pain or overwhelm.

  1. Go Outside

No matter where you live (unless you are in subarctic winter temperatures), going outside for a few minutes can be a way to rest your mind and shift your focus. A bit of nature, even in your back yard or a walk around the block, gives you the chance to breathe fresh air and increase your oxygen levels. If you get a few minutes in the sunlight it could support renewed feelings of well-being. If you are able to take a little walk, the movement may help increase circulation. All these things together can change your physiology and mindset, and be helpful in separating yourself from any stress you might have been feeling.

  1. Talk to Someone

 One of the great things about the holidays is that it opens opportunities for talking with loved ones and friends. If you have the chance, sit and have a nice long talk with someone you trust that you know cares about you. If not in person, find some time to pick up the phone and reach out. When I speak with true friends, I find that it brings an uplifting energy. My mind feels renewed and happy, helping my body to feel relaxed.

  1. Feel Gratitude

 Make a habit of gratitude. I choose to start my day with mental gratitude before getting out of bed. This I learned from the wonderful author of “You Can Heal Your Life”, Louise Hay. She used to say that in the morning she would thank her bed. Without thinking of anything in the future, of what I might have to do that day, right where I am as I first stir in the morning in bed gives me the opportunity to be thankful right then and there. I’m thankful for my soft pillow and cozy blankets, for my fuzzy socks, and the quiet stillness in the early morning light.

Make the habit simple. You do not need to make gratitude monumental, the small blessings in the moment are profound on their own. In an online article in On the Pulse, it was noted that a neuroscientist at Seattle Children’s Research Institute, said that feeling gratitude can activate several parts of the brain associated with reward and motivation, and the hypothalamus associated with eating and sleeping. Dr. Susan Ferguson said “when humans feel gratitude, the brain produces oxytocin…” This is the same hormone that is released after giving birth, and often dubbed the love hormone.

The feeling of love is definitely a healing emotion in the body. So, if activating these parts of the brain to produce positive feelings to support our body can be done with gratitude, then count me in! It’s worth being grateful for everything I can!

When you find yourself looking for the comfort of inner peace this holiday, remember to take 10 minutes to conquer your reality by releasing resistance to what is, taking a deep breath, walking outside, talking to a friend, and practicing gratitude. These small acts of self-care can renew your inner peace as often as you need it through the holidays.

Hearts & (gentle) Hugs,
Dr. Jen

Fibro Hacking the Holidays: Ask for Help – Part 3

The holidays are supposed to be a time of celebration with family and friends, but for a lot of people they are a very emotional time. It is a time of year that many find very difficult to get through—either because they have lost someone they loved, or because they are chronically ill. The season with social gatherings, gift giving, and traditions can trigger depression, loneliness, and grief, due to either missing a loved one… or missing the way things used to be.

For myself, although I have fibro life in balance (knock on wood), this will be the first year without my father. It’s been a hard year as it is, but the holidays are a trigger for memories. When loss is new the emptiness is sometimes too much. For my mother, who also has fibro, and any woman going through difficult emotions or fibro flares this is definitely a time for when self-advocacy is called for.

Here are several steps to take as the holidays approach:

  1. Recognize how you feel: As the holiday approaches stop to check in with yourself and if you are experiencing heavy emotions, don’t push past them but instead allow yourself to recognize them. This may help you to start processing the emotions.
  2. Plan ahead: if you are aware of your emotions, you can be gentle with yourself this season by looking ahead and making note of any triggers that may come up. Try to avoid situations or events that may be too uncomfortable for you. The hope is that by planning ahead you won’t find yourself in a circumstance where you are caught off guard by overwhelming feelings.
  3. Ask for help: Please know that if you are having a difficult time either because you lost someone special or because you are dealing with fibro challenges or something else, you do not have to pretend to be cheerful and try to do all the events or celebrations you used to by yourself. You should not be expected to. Determine what you need help with and let others know. It is okay to ask others to help, especially when you have had a tough time from either illness or grief, or both.
  4. Accept the help: Do you need someone to run errands or do some holiday shopping for you? Do you need help planning, organizing, or wrapping gifts– especially if you have young children or guests that will be arriving? Do you need help prepping or preparing a holiday meal? A lot of times, your family and friends want to do something for you but aren’t sure how you will feel about it. Just kindly ask them for help.

Focus on the Moment

If you are feeling off balance any time during the holiday or during social gatherings try to intentionally focus on the moment at hand. Look around and purposefully notice the things around the room, the lace design of the tablecloth, the light in the room, the décor on the table, the number of chairs, and on and on. If you direct your attention specifically it may help divert the negative feeling long enough for you to regain balance.

Don’t try to get through the tough holidays by yourself. Realizing when you may need help and making a plan to ask for that help is called self-advocacy. Often women will struggle with loss and pain alone rather than ask for help. Understand that you are worthy of having help. It is human to have tough times throughout life. Having others that care about you, help you through the holidays, can be a great comfort to you.

Hearts & Gentle Hugs,

Dr. Jen