Tag Archives: Fibromyalgia

Conquer Your Reality, Health, Mindset, Motivation

Celebrating Small Wins Can Make Big Changes

Do you ever feel defeated because of your experience with fibromyalgia? That is easy to do. No lie, I have often felt like giving up. If you are living with fibro, it might feel like you can’t keep up—especially with everyone else (your family, your co-workers, or those that you admire). It’s hard not to compare yourself.

I know how it feels to be too tired to do the things that you want to do, let alone the things you need to do like regular chores, or running errands. I know how defeating it can feel when you have things you want to accomplish and you either just don’t have the energy or are in too much pain.

Focus on Solutions

The first thing I want to encourage is to stop beating yourself up mentally. If you are suffering from fatigue or pain, focus on the solutions to recovery instead of the things you can’t do. I know from my own experience, I’ve spent way too much time and energy being mad at my body, and guess what!? That just pushes me down even more.

However, when I recognize and accept where I am physically and mentally, I can address my needs. When I take care of myself in that moment, hour, day, week, then I improve my chances of getting back on track to work on my to-do list (or as I call it, my remember list 😊, actually a to-do list stresses me out.)

Small Wins

Do you ever pat yourself on the back when you accomplish something on your to-do list? I DO! And you should too because everything that you can check off is a big deal! The fact that you’re living with chronic health challenges means you never know when you are going to be able to do the things you want to. So, if you can check something off, definitely celebrate it.

Another reason to allow yourself to feel that small accomplishment is because our experiences and our responses to our experiences will affect our body chemistry. If you had a small win and feel good about it, it could support more feel-good neurotransmitters that just might promote more potential within you.

Using your recognition of small wins can only inspire. When you feel good about yourself, the body chemistry just may allow you to be able to check one more thing off.

The Big Deal

What’s the big deal? As you accept where you are mentally and physically when you are attempting to do the things you want, you will be less likely to push yourself. What happens when you push past your current mental and physical limits with fibro? It may set you back two steps, four steps, or even feel like 10 steps behind. That can make you feel like you lost any momentum you worked so hard to gain. The big deal here is that as you learn to manage your life with fibro you may have better and better days.

The Key is Feel-Good Chemistry

The key is to recognize where you are and feel good about what you do get done. Feeling satisfied with yourself creates thoughts that support self-esteem. And we know positive thoughts about yourself, can help create your own natural feel-good brain and body chemistry that will support your next efforts to accomplishing your goals.

I know if you are a fibro newbie it may feel like you need to fight, fight, fight. But as a 20-year fibro veteran I know that learning to live life with your own balance, without the stress of fighting the uphill battles, will get you much farther in the long run.

The Good Life Strategy

I do not like to ever admit that there are limits because I know that there are almost always ways around limits. I much rather look at fibromyalgia lifestyle management as strategy. So, celebrate those small wins, they do count! If you did the laundry today, if you went to work, made dinner, or even showered, you did great and don’t let anyone tell you any different.

Stick with me and you can develop your own fibro life strategy. Celebrating small wins boosts your mood and a good mood helps you feel better so that you can do more of what you want. I am offering a Mood & Motivation Challenge for Women with Fibro. It’s easy and free, so you are welcome to join me here: https://jenbickerton.ck.page/b97ea7f466

Celebrating you, my friend!

Hearts & (gentle) Hugs,
Dr. Jen

 

Change Your Life, Conquer Your Reality, Health, Inspiration, Mindset

Fibro Hacking the Holidays: Inner Peace – Part 5

We all want the holidays to be a special time for everyone. This includes ourselves. For me personally, not only do I want to see smiles and joy on everyone else’s face, but I want to feel that ideal peace and serenity of the season too. However, for many years this eluded me because I would push myself so much making everything “perfect” for everyone else that by the time the activities and celebrations arrived, I was completely worn out and in pain. For women with fibromyalgia, I know that you know what I’m talking about.

Several years ago, I gave up the idea of a “perfect” holiday. And it was probably the best thing I ever did. I decided it was not my place to make it perfect, but it was my place to enjoy it right along with everyone else. Not only did the pain and fatigue get better, but I was also able to deal with the pain that I experienced much easier. This is when I learned to embrace inner peace above all else.

Here are my 5 strategies for fibro hacking the holidays to find inner peace in the midst of this busy season:

  1. Release Resistance

If you find yourself exhausted or in pain, recognize it and release your resistance to it. Listen to your body and heed the direction it is giving you. This may sound odd, but not only do I listen to my body I also talk to it. Research shows that our body responds to our thoughts. Just think about this for a moment. If you were to really imagine and think about slicing a lemon and squeezing it into a glass, your body would produce signals making your mouth salivate and pucker as if you were about to drink a glass of lemonade. So, I surmised if our body could produce chemicals to make internal changes happen, then I could also make changes to pain and fatigue. It certainly takes practice, but our bodies do respond to our thoughts so instead of ignoring the pain or feeling hate and disdain toward the part of the body affected by pain, try acknowledging and loving the area of pain. Ask your body what it needs then follow its direction. If you need to lie down and rest, do. If you need to use an ice or heat pack, magnesium oil, or anti-inflammatory, do so. You can have a better-quality day when you pay attention to your body.

  1. Practice Deep Breathing

Another way to hit the reset button on overwhelm brought on by discomfort is to practice deep breathing. It sounds simple, but it can help. Try 5 to 15 minutes of calm slow breathing. As you inhale and exhale, you can either focus on the up and down rising or your abdomen, or you can count. I like to count with each in and out cycle of breath. This may calm any anxiety brought on by pain or overwhelm.

  1. Go Outside

No matter where you live (unless you are in subarctic winter temperatures), going outside for a few minutes can be a way to rest your mind and shift your focus. A bit of nature, even in your back yard or a walk around the block, gives you the chance to breathe fresh air and increase your oxygen levels. If you get a few minutes in the sunlight it could support renewed feelings of well-being. If you are able to take a little walk, the movement may help increase circulation. All these things together can change your physiology and mindset, and be helpful in separating yourself from any stress you might have been feeling.

  1. Talk to Someone

 One of the great things about the holidays is that it opens opportunities for talking with loved ones and friends. If you have the chance, sit and have a nice long talk with someone you trust that you know cares about you. If not in person, find some time to pick up the phone and reach out. When I speak with true friends, I find that it brings an uplifting energy. My mind feels renewed and happy, helping my body to feel relaxed.

  1. Feel Gratitude

 Make a habit of gratitude. I choose to start my day with mental gratitude before getting out of bed. This I learned from the wonderful author of “You Can Heal Your Life”, Louise Hay. She used to say that in the morning she would thank her bed. Without thinking of anything in the future, of what I might have to do that day, right where I am as I first stir in the morning in bed gives me the opportunity to be thankful right then and there. I’m thankful for my soft pillow and cozy blankets, for my fuzzy socks, and the quiet stillness in the early morning light.

Make the habit simple. You do not need to make gratitude monumental, the small blessings in the moment are profound on their own. In an online article in On the Pulse, it was noted that a neuroscientist at Seattle Children’s Research Institute, said that feeling gratitude can activate several parts of the brain associated with reward and motivation, and the hypothalamus associated with eating and sleeping. Dr. Susan Ferguson said “when humans feel gratitude, the brain produces oxytocin…” This is the same hormone that is released after giving birth, and often dubbed the love hormone.

The feeling of love is definitely a healing emotion in the body. So, if activating these parts of the brain to produce positive feelings to support our body can be done with gratitude, then count me in! It’s worth being grateful for everything I can!

When you find yourself looking for the comfort of inner peace this holiday, remember to take 10 minutes to conquer your reality by releasing resistance to what is, taking a deep breath, walking outside, talking to a friend, and practicing gratitude. These small acts of self-care can renew your inner peace as often as you need it through the holidays.

Hearts & (gentle) Hugs,
Dr. Jen

Conquer Your Reality, Health, Mindset

Fibro Hacking the Holidays: Ask for Help – Part 3

The holidays are supposed to be a time of celebration with family and friends, but for a lot of people they are a very emotional time. It is a time of year that many find very difficult to get through—either because they have lost someone they loved, or because they are chronically ill. The season with social gatherings, gift giving, and traditions can trigger depression, loneliness, and grief, due to either missing a loved one… or missing the way things used to be.

For myself, although I have fibro life in balance (knock on wood), this will be the first year without my father. It’s been a hard year as it is, but the holidays are a trigger for memories. When loss is new the emptiness is sometimes too much. For my mother, who also has fibro, and any woman going through difficult emotions or fibro flares this is definitely a time for when self-advocacy is called for.

Here are several steps to take as the holidays approach:

  1. Recognize how you feel: As the holiday approaches stop to check in with yourself and if you are experiencing heavy emotions, don’t push past them but instead allow yourself to recognize them. This may help you to start processing the emotions.
  2. Plan ahead: if you are aware of your emotions, you can be gentle with yourself this season by looking ahead and making note of any triggers that may come up. Try to avoid situations or events that may be too uncomfortable for you. The hope is that by planning ahead you won’t find yourself in a circumstance where you are caught off guard by overwhelming feelings.
  3. Ask for help: Please know that if you are having a difficult time either because you lost someone special or because you are dealing with fibro challenges or something else, you do not have to pretend to be cheerful and try to do all the events or celebrations you used to by yourself. You should not be expected to. Determine what you need help with and let others know. It is okay to ask others to help, especially when you have had a tough time from either illness or grief, or both.
  4. Accept the help: Do you need someone to run errands or do some holiday shopping for you? Do you need help planning, organizing, or wrapping gifts– especially if you have young children or guests that will be arriving? Do you need help prepping or preparing a holiday meal? A lot of times, your family and friends want to do something for you but aren’t sure how you will feel about it. Just kindly ask them for help.

Focus on the Moment

If you are feeling off balance any time during the holiday or during social gatherings try to intentionally focus on the moment at hand. Look around and purposefully notice the things around the room, the lace design of the tablecloth, the light in the room, the décor on the table, the number of chairs, and on and on. If you direct your attention specifically it may help divert the negative feeling long enough for you to regain balance.

Don’t try to get through the tough holidays by yourself. Realizing when you may need help and making a plan to ask for that help is called self-advocacy. Often women will struggle with loss and pain alone rather than ask for help. Understand that you are worthy of having help. It is human to have tough times throughout life. Having others that care about you, help you through the holidays, can be a great comfort to you.

Hearts & Gentle Hugs,

Dr. Jen